Here are some ways that I have matured
The Bible as God's words and as our highest authority
-This past year has been the greatest year in me getting to know the Bible. Starting with SK1 in the spring semester, and junior discipleship in the fall semester, I have learned tremendously what God has been telling me all these years I went to church. I just can't believe how long it took me to get to where I am. God has been always speaking to me through the text, but I never realized the full potential of God's words. His words are truly the highest authority and contains so much wisdom. I have received the privilege of having this community teach the word in so much depth. I've been realizing this more and more as I come back home for breaks, and my knowledge of the Bible doesn't grow as much. The sermons that I hear here are nowhere in depth as the ones I hear in Berkeley. I just can't imagine that I have lived like this for the past 10 years I went to church. But more than looking at the past, I look at how much there is in store for me. With just one year, I have come to where I am now. I am nowhere near complete, but I have so much more year to learn about God's words. I am really excited to master God's words and have more knowledge. Truly as Psalm 119:105 says Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Countless times I've experienced being lost, but God provided me with his words a light for my path. Whenever I'm struggling with anxieties or sins of lust, God's words provide a way out and guide me to holiness. And Hebrews 4:12 became more true for me as I have been realizing more and more about myself as the Bible points out the different flaws in me. It is truly a double-edged sword as it is a powerful weapon as well as a powerful indicator of my sins.
Personally experiencing and testifying to God's grace
-Truly, this year has been a blessing as I am realizing more and more of how sinful I am. God's grace is becoming more real. Before, I thought I understood what grace meant. I thought grace meant that God was so generous that he sent his only son to die for our sins. That is true, but it had no personal effect. Now grace means that I am helpless in my battle against sin because I keep falling and falling. Without grace, I am hopeless and I cannot save myself. But God, who was so gracious, loved me so much that He had no choice to send his son to die for us on the cross. Jesus Christ died for my sins and what I had done to Him, the very people who were nailing on the cross. That's what grace is. Ephesians 2:8-9. For it is by grace that I have been saved, not by my works because my works are evil. This past year, I've experienced many sinful things, especially with relationship with sisters, shallowness, self-deception. I've been realizing how shallow I am in terms of my thoughts, reflection upon DT's or messages. Because of my shallowness, the understanding doesn't' stick that long. That is why I have hard time remembering messages or DT's. It's because I don't reflect enough. God's grace is amazing and I wish to experience that more.
Being Faithful in Spiritual Discipline
-I have grown to be more disciplined this past year. In the beginning of the year, I still didn't see the full power of DT's. I still wasn't fully disciplined in doing DTs everyday. Over the course of the year, I learned how to do DTs, how to reflect deeper, and how to arrive at a personal connection with the Word. I can't believe that it was just a year ago that I didn't realize my sinfulness. It was only a year that I had this pride barrier blocking God from my life. I became more disciplined in reading and in reflecting. But still by the halfway point of the year, I hadn't fully understood reflection. This past semester, I have learned what it means to reflect about my actions in regards to Biblical truths, making decisions according to the truths in the Bible. I have learned what it means to discern what is good and what is not pleasing to the Lord. Because I have just realized these truths, I am still not experienced with constantly reflecting about my actions and deciding based on the truths not by how I feel. But I want to grow in this area. Psalm 1:2 says that the psalmist meditates not he law day and night. I realize I don't do that. I mean sure I might meditate time to time about some verses, but I don't do this day and night. But as I meditate on the law day and night, those laws will be truths to me and be engrained in me. This means that I will be able ego better discern what is pleasing to the Lord. This break, I need to constantly do DT's and have those verses in my mind so that I may not sin against God
-Sharing God's heart for the lost
I have definitely grown in this area this past year as I think about the drastic contrast of Sophomore year and Junior year. I was mainly focused on myself Sophomore year as I grew in my own way, just focusing on myself, which was not necessarily a bad thing. It's just that I missed many opportunities to love the lost because I was too selfish, worried about myself. But as Junior year came along, I was more willing to take risks, love the younger ones more. As the gospels became truer for me, I saw the need of the gospel for the younger ones. Also, the urgency of the gospel to the younger ones became played a central role. I just didn't want to die the next day with a lot of regrets, which made me take more risks in inviting the freshmen, getting food, or just trying my best to love the freshmen. I definitely want to grow more in this area as my love for them isn't complete. There are a lot of others who have no heard about Christ, who are lost. And a lot more students that will come in the future. I pray that God will guide me in trying to love more and more people and figure out new ideas of evangelism. I think I need to grow more in the area of evangelism. Evangelism wasn't a strong point to begin with for me because I am naturally awkward and introverted with strangers. I need to get more experienced at it. I did grow this past semester in terms of evangelism. I wanted to go out and reach out to more people during welcome week, and throughout the semester, I did go visit the dorms for outreach. Although it wasn't very fruitful, I did gain things out of it. And also, I need to be more prayerful when I am evangelizing. Next semester seems like interesting as I'll be more equipped and more willing to create more memories with others.
This is just only a few of the many topics that I reflected on. God is good, and I'm excited to see what has in store for me this coming year.
No comments:
Post a Comment